THEY’RE COMING FOR YOU
Coulrophobia--the fear of clowns--is very real and for good reason. You might think these red-nosed jokers are creepy, sure, but certainly not dangerous. You’d be wrong. Clowns never reveal their real names, and dress to obscure their identities. The rules of civilized society don't apply to them (what other stranger could offer candy to children and get away with it?), they have countless places to hide weapons on their person, and their appearance is downright unnatural. Clowns are the scariest people on earth, and the truth is, they are coming for your valuables, your children, and your sanity. In this comprehensive guide to self-protection from clown creepery, petty crime, and violence, Chuck Sambuchino--founder of the anti-clown group Red Nose Alert--delves into the terrifying clown underworld to provide the knowledge you need to know to protect yourself from these seemingly innocuous gagmen, using his proven four-step system: ASSESS, ANALYZE, DEFEND, PROTECT. Included within are instructions on how to defeat a clown in close combat, tips for spotting the plainclothes clown, and tutorials for fully clown-proofing your home against these painted and bewigged warriors. Most importantly, you’ll learn what to do when clowns attack… because it’s only a matter of time before they do. |
Plus there's no way you can slather greasepaint on your cheeks day by day and not start to think about it as war paint. And when war paint goes on the face, things can get violent real fast.
I received this book from netgalley in exchange for an honest review. I didn't know what to expect going in, figuring it was some sort of humor book - which it is. I never thought it would be so incredibly involved - every piece of costume is disected on a clown's evil meaning, every type of face paint, every form of clown, different locations you can find clowns, a list of famous clowns (Krusty from the Simpsons, Pennywise, Ronald McDonald, Joker, John Wayne Gacy).
It's amusing and hyper paranoid. The book ends with chapters on weapons against clowns, weapons THEY have, and goes on for awhile.
While cute, it's hard to hold interest for a full book. This is more of a gag gift for those who are afraid of clowns and want to laugh at themselves. It's not a serious book that actually examines true fear of clowns, although some of that is in there too. Kudos to the author for being so indepth with all angles of clown disaster, even if some of the jokes are carried too far.
This seemed to be a good review to slap up considering Halloween is around the corner - enjoy the holiday, clown costumes and all.
Received for free from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review
